To whose standards?

I hope to be successful not to my mothers’ standards or to anyone else’s. I

don’t even know if I have standards of my own when it comes to success.

However, I long for whatever that looks like for me. I spent many years in the

shadows of who people thought I should be without even knowing who I really am.

Perhaps I did not like the person I saw in the mirror every day and if that is

true that same image stares at me daily still. Except I look a little while

longer and it doesn’t just stare at me because now I am staring at it. We

reflect our desires but also our beliefs. No wonder why I have been stuck

between success and failure. I was afraid of them both. No one can define

success for me nor failure. Although I fail quite a bit I have had many

successes too. That is the beauty in life. Nothing is perfect and I am done

striving for something unattainable. Perfection is bleak and distorted beyond

anything this life can give. If only we could live without borders and tear down

the box we put our minds in. That image once spoken of has a new smile and a new

purpose. Many may not understand but it is not for them to understand and I

should not feel pressured to convince anyone that who I am is okay for me to be.

Life is supposed to be something beautiful even with its pain. To grieve is

painful that is correct but the why behind that grief is always a love story

that can never be forgotten. Living past grief is a good thing. There is no

need to feel guilty for moving on. We move on because those we lost would want

us to. Grief is no place to stay. Putting one foot in front of the other is

always the first step. That step is important. Continue forward because your

love for them pushes you forward and in some way, they need to move on as well.

Grief is not the enemy but two lives shouldn’t be lost because of it.